Styx parody lyrics
Great White Soap
For use with Great White Hope
(What does the markup on these lyrics mean?)
Mateys and settled-ones, mateys and settled-ones, your attention, please!
In this corner is-a white soap bar for clean - ing, say, shoulders and helps you smell better
We-do a presention for your entertainment
So when the bell sounds, prepare yourselves for the hearing (of) bathsGone too long without a bath has the thing with the crab claw
Now he is the top scum, annoy - ing at best, everybody has their weapons drawn
If I had known it would smell like this I might have given it a second thought
I am tell - ing you to get a scrub, it’s not often that can be gotLook in here
At the great white soap
Can’t you see
That it presents a hope
Don’t you know
It’s so hard to cope
If you (don’t) clean
With the great white soapYou will not pay for-it, but if-you skip a bath-you’ll stink
And I know we got it out of our hair, doing our best to get clean
If I had known it would smell like this I might have given it a second thought
I am telling you to get a scrub, tis not often that can be got
Behind the scenes
- The original version of this parody appeared in a comic strip I wrote in the spring of 2014.
- However, like many parodies I wrote in the first seven months of that year, it would need to be edited in June 2017 to be published, in this case for three reasons. The first and biggest problem was a line about
the cartoonist.
Second, getting a scrub was originally the captain’s order for you lot,
but that specification added nothing to the parody - it was arbitrary and just limited flexibility by making it so that it could only be sung from the perspective of a captain. Finally, there was a reference to a cutscene in the Lego Pirates of the Caribbean video game in which the smell of Mr. Gibbs put off even a pig.
Categories: Parodies about pirate hygiene (or lack thereof), parody style miscellanies, revised parodies