Back to the subject of absence not making the heart grow fonder so much as setting blood free. She Cares clearly calls for that, after all.
A sort of fictionalized take on my parodying the Styx album Paradise Theater.
At an island, the Black Pearl Crew were figuring out what to do.
Here their predecessors, the Comic Five had supposedly been. Twice they had parodied Paradise Theater. But any pirate you saw writing parodies now was not he who did this album before, though they looked alike. And so, their employer pulled in to throw them the album.
He or she not of the Five knew there would be a catch. Those who parodied imploringly before them, for their employer to keep them going, had skipped the slower songs on this album. The job now was looking and using the perspective of the parodist, not just a ballad detractor.
That’s not much of a song, or that,
he said. Never minding if A.D. 1928 or A.D. 1958 would make their employer sorry in any way, there as nothing to be done with them.
Will Turner was summoned. Rockin’ the Paradise, a minor favorite of the employer and with little more than a handful of lyrics, would be a song he would write to the tune of. The result was about what he jogged off to when he made landfall - safety from sea creatures. It was called Off to Paradise
and reflected that earth, of the sort lichen can grow on, seemed something worth seeking out - except those were not the words it used.
Jack was doing Too Much Brine On His Hands,
about how adventure had happened because the creature in the passageway was a royal lunatic - yes, Jack probably would say that if the wording of the song did not stop him - and attacked as if he had nothing better to do.
Another song that was parodied was what rather few words surrounded the long instrumental stretches in Nothing Ever Goes As Planned. Will took this one, although he did not song about Bootstrap Bill or anything else specific to him. One had to look these things over well, consider where Bill and Jack’s stories were best suited, and write a parody which was not written as if at spear point, like those smooth plastic pirates used to do.
We bring you what we have made,
the pirates would say happily.
It was No Film Ever Goes As Planned.
The mind of Elizabeth was behind everything, and she would have a look.
She said, You need not go off our predecessors. They did Best of Times once, then decided their employer would keep Jack’s hand off such a slow song. I hear from up high this is not true!
In the jungle, Elizabeth spent the morning. Come noon, the Crew was using an idea that might have been suggested by Elizabeth: Lowly Creatures.
Whoever had it, it was a must-use.
A wagon rumbled from the way to the nearest town. But there is no way I can write an interesting song about what is happening there,
Will admitted. Sure, a chariot going along enthusiastically was more pleasant than this enemy he was singing about, but would it entertain Jack or anyone else?
was said by the Crew. It was called He worked hard to be the greatest lover, he wanted to be sure that he was her only one, that’s how he thought it was done.
Let’s write that into the song,Nobody Cares,
like the first stab the Five took at the song, but not as likely to lead to an OWW!
that could have been from a displeased viewer or its maker paying for it.
Snowblind was swimming in things the Crew could not understand. Jack had his part, and then had Barbossa join in on this song that might have been about something unearthly for all they knew. They found things to speak of, which were not like the original subject of the song at all, but it rhymed, and Elizabeth and anyone who was with her knew that would have to be good enough.
And so the parody changed You tricked me with visions of paradise
to the very opposite, which mostly described that parody.
Shoulders swayed happily with Half-Penny, Two-Penny aboard the S.S. Imagination for how relevant the song was, about crossing the water, going away to freedom - and looking at a sad story that had some relevance too.
We all want to be free!
would have been hard to change, and quite unnecessary. They thus drew on it instead, there was full agreement on that.
Wanting to be free sounded piratical, and they would find more of it.
It’s going to be the pinnacle of parodying!