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Top Red Herrings

This will get old eventually. I have felt it happen already. But making the best of it will keep it from getting too old too quickly.

On this page I list some notable songs that I did not parody, and what I used instead to achieve the obvious goal.

Wrong song about sailing: Come Sail Away, by Styx

This has to be one of, if not the, easiest song to think of using for Pirates of the Caribbean, given its obvious connection as well as being a popular song. But it involves the rather serious problem of space aliens making an appearance - which you would have to look hard to find in any other song, so why put up with it here? The fact that it devolves into repeating the title line like a broken record does not help, either.

What I opted for instead:

Half-Penny, Two-Penny, by Styx

A much less obvious choice, but it vows to shake myself loose, back home across the sea, where I know that I will be free just the same. No aliens or major repetitive lyrics, either!

Wrong father-son tragedy: Wake Me Up When September Ends, by Green Day

Attempted duet of Buccaneer Blue and another Green Day fan was reported to have sounded like this:

You want the mandolin from Wake Me Up When September Ends? Oh, Buccaneer Blue! Father. Uh, Buccaneer Blue? You’re a sad old man. Give me that mandolin back. Your tawdry vest - BLUE! I am seriously - So am I. Wake Me Up When September Ends is not entertaining, and that is why you are not the one who should be picking songs here. Memories of a former man are all words convey? Summer end’s coming fast, the tarnished robe you wear can never last - uh - wake me up when September ends. No, seriously, sir, could this be related to Pirates of the Caribbean at all? The people laugh! You never seem to hear! Okay, if you say so, good b- hey, Blue, where are you - oh, come on, not the organ room! Like my father’s a ship that’s never been to sea, the bottle that can never last, you’ll sail eternally when September ends BUCCANEER BLUE! HONESTLY, YOU DO NOT EVEN LIKE PIPE ORGANS! Guess each of us better stand alone.

Sure, the song is well known. Sure, it fits the pirate age-appropriate music bill with the acoustic guitar. But for all we know, September had nothing to do with the senior William Turner being taken from his son. Besides, the song is about a dead father, which makes it all the less funny (and less fitting for the Turners). And to top it all off, the song is nonfiction.

What I opted for instead:

Father O.S.A. by Styx

You can still have the suitably old fashioned guitar while having the tragic father still be alive and even described as sailing eternally, if you do not mind using what was not a popular song.

Mother, Father, by Journey

If you want a song that did get some air play, here is a family that is falling apart but still has hope.

Like Father, Like Son, by Rick Springfield

A song that can describe the continued problems of the Turner family somewhat, and also suits pirates because a violin is the only instrument.

Wrong thing to change to the 18th century: 21st Century Breakdown, by Green Day

Sure, I could change it to 18th Century Breakdown. But that I would actually call too easy. Then there is the too hard. The third word in the song is Nixon. That should give you an idea of how specifically tied to the late 20th and early 21st century it is.

What I opted for instead

Ordinary World, by Green Day

No modern stuff here, and one of the things it does have is buried treasure. Also, 18th Century World was a much less obvious, and therefore more gratifying, parody title.

Wrong Caribbean-influenced song: Tide is High, by Blondie

Sure, it has a tide. Sure, it has all those steel drums and horns. Sure, it seems to be about a troubled relationship. But what it does not have is enough words to tell a story.

What I opted for instead

Something Happened on the Way to Heaven, by Phil Collins

Also sounds a little like a Caribbean song, certainly covers a relationship having issues, and has so many more lyrics to work with it is not even funny.

Dance Into the Light, by Phil Collins

Lots of similar horns in this one. No steel drums, but the exchange is well worth it for a decent number of words, especially with one of those words being freedom.